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13 September 2005 @ 12:55 pm
Mia's post.  
Erik had been gone for nearly a month, and the manor was beginning to reek of loneliness. It was far too big a place for just the two occupants...and it was twice as bad when it was only me at home. I missed him terribly, and felt quite empty, cleaning and cooking only for myself. As a matter of fact, the only tidying I ever needed to do anymore was dusting, since I really made no mess at all, except for to make myself a meal or two.

Erik and I were not married, though we'd been living together for over a year. Our relationship was a singular one, borne of strange circumstances. By society's standards, it was positively scandalous, according to Erik, but neither of us were really so close to society to notice. Sometimes we were little more than master and servant...Erik tending to his projects and I to my chores. Sometimes we were simply friends, reading (or, in my case, trying to) in the same room, or having tea together (Erik liked his bitter, I liked mine with honey). Sometimes we were lovers, walking hand in hand along the beach by the manor. It was idyllic, as long as Erik kept his temper and I occasionally spoke up for myself, which, granted, was as much miss as hit. Erik could be downright explosive when angry, and I found that despite everything, I still could not quite ask for things for myself. Thankfully for the both of us, I knew when to step around Erik, and he knew how to anticipate my desires.

I sat down on the couch beside the fireplace. It was nearing ten o'clock, and I really should have been getting to bed. I was all ready in my nightclothes, sans corset...how could Western women sleep in the things? I remembered the first time I'd ever been put in a corset, with the dressing woman lacing me up...I'd heard that many women found them comfortable, but I could not. I was not laced over-tightly, but enough to make me woozy. I'd since gotten used to them, somewhat...but I avoided wearing them whenever possible.

My head hit the cushion at the end of the couch as I lay down, staring at the ceiling. It was certainly my bedtime...but the fire was so warm, the flickering flames so comforting...
 
 
 
heroes_etc on September 13th, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
I had been working for the majority of the day, drafting and composing and whatnot. I hoped that my little Mia didn't feel that I was ignoring her, but I really was busy.

I put my quill in the inkpot, forcing myself to leave it there and simply stop for the night. I pulled my watch from my pocket and was pleasantly surprised at the relative earliness of the hour. I still had a little time before Mia went to bed.

I stood up, simply leaving my music sprawled in every direction all over my desk, letting then ink dry. I hoped she wouldn't be too tired to go for a small walk and look at the constellations. Last time we were out at night, I promised that I would teach her.

It took me a full minute, I think, to realise that I was not at home. My room here had been meticulously arranged to match my study, back at the manor, and I had been so caught up on my work that I didn't even realise where I was. This sudden realisation that I wasn't going to get to see Mia, after all, made my heart ache. My knees felt suddenly too weak to hold my weight, and I was barely able to staggar backward into my armchair before I collapsed. Not caring how cliche it was, or how bloody often I seemed to feel the need to do so, I clutched at my heart as though it would somehow help soothe the pain. I felt so incredibly empty, so alone and full of despair, and all of a sudden. It hit me light a heavy blow to the chest.

"Mia..." I whimpered, softly, as though saying her name meant that she would suddenly manifest from the air, right before me. Of course, no such thing happened, and I was angry at myself for being disappointed when it did not.

After a few minutes of simply sitting there, slumped into the plush cushions and letting go of a few burning tears, I moved to do what I always did when I felt this way.

I returned to my desk and retrieved the quill from the inkwell. I pulled a few fresh fuiells of paper from my drawer, cleared a space in front of me, and began to write.
Katukatu on September 13th, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC)
The sun was streaming down on my face. My eyes flickered open, and for a moment my hands thought to reach to my right to touch the familiar silk of Erik's pyjamas. Luckily, this reflex was quelled before it sent me tumbling over the edge of the couch. Had I been here all night? Well, I must have done. I sighed, and stood rather wearily, automatically making my way to the kitchen, to prepare breakfast for myself.

I didn't think I would get dressed, at all. I could afford to lounge around in my nightdress, if I wished...it wasn't as if I needed to go to town, or as if anyone would see me. I could simply relax, work a little bit more on my reading. I wished I could write Erik a letter, but it hardly seemed worth the postage simply to send him the only thing I knew how to write: my name. But...somehow, I needed to contact him. Tell him I loved and missed him.

Having this as my inspiration, I went to Erik's desk, upstairs, and sat down at it. The chair was too high for me, and my feet dangled a few inches above the floor. The desk itself, too, was huge, and as I sat there, I felt as if I was a naughty little girl going through her father's papers. I rifled through the mess on the desk, looking for a blank sheet of paper. There were architectural plans, a fair amount of musical scores, and notes made in a childishly looping script that rather matched my own. I doubted I could have deciphered Erik's handwriting, even if I was any good at reading French...his penmanship was terrible.

Eventually, I managed to find a single sheet of clean paper. I picked up a quill, unscrewed the cap from the ink pot, and put the three elements together.

An hour later, I had managed to copy the words "Je vous aime, Erik. Je vous manque." out of a few books, and hoped that they were grammatically sound. I then scrawled my name along the bottom of the page, and waited for the ink to dry. I would drop the letter off at the post station, later. There, a reason to get dressed.
heroes_etc on September 13th, 2005 09:41 pm (UTC)
((I'm lame, I know. This was my idea...dunno what happened. I <33 you, and Erik loves Mia, so much. I don't know what to say, right now. And God, so many errors in that last comment of mine!! ARGH! Sorry, bug. Maybe later.))
Katukatu on September 14th, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)
((It's okay. I'm just sad. Ya jerk. ;-; No, no, it's okay. I love you.))
heroes_etc on September 15th, 2005 12:55 am (UTC)
I received a letter from her shortly after I sent mine. It didn't really have too terribly too far to travel as far as mail is concerned, but it arrived much too soon to be a reply to mine. And anyway, it had nothing to do with mine...except to say what both of us were no doubt feeling the most.

"I love you. I miss you."

I sighed and folded the letter back into its envelope, kissed it rather absently and let the tears fall. I was too tired and sad to fight them, this time.

It was all right when I was working, and I was doing so near constantly, so that was all right. But when I stopped, as soon as I put that quill back in the inkwell, as soon as I stood from my chair, as soon as I realised that she hadn't brought me tea that day...for days, weeks before that...

I checked the calendar for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. Had it really been a month? Mon Dieu. I needed to get back. My work was nearly finished. I wouldn't sleep until it was done. I wouldn't stop for any reason other than when it was absolutely necessary. I needed to get home or I would die of lonliness, and the lack of the human contact that had been so alien to me for the whole of my life before Mia was such a huge part of it.
Katukatu on September 15th, 2005 01:06 am (UTC)
The front door shut behind me, and I danced inside, holding an envelope in my hand. A letter, for me! I had absolutely no doubt who it was from; who else knew that I existed? I all but flew to the couch, fell down onto it, and tore the envelope away from its precious cargo. Erik!

I unfolded the papers, and then realised that I still couldn't read. I could make out a few words..."Mia"..."love"..."sad." Regardless of the words, I still knew the meaning. I lay the paper carefully down on the couch before me, and rested my face on it with a smile. My Erik...I hoped he wouldn't be gone for too long. I missed him terribly. The crinkling parchment beneath my cheek smelled vaguely of Erik's cologne, which made my throat and eyes burn with longing...When would he ever come back?
heroes_etc on September 15th, 2005 01:29 am (UTC)
Finally the carriage pulled up to the end of the long drive lined with fur trees. The actual house was hidden almost entirely from the road, but a bit of the side could be glimpsed from the west, where there was a small clearing. Mia and I had picnics there, sometimes, letting the soft, fragrant pine needles be our blanket.

I had never really considered anywhere to be home until I bought this house and moved into it with Mia. I suppose that has largely to do with the saying "Home is where the heart is". It couldn't be more true, in this case, for when I was away from home, away from Mia, I felt like I had been removed from my heart, itself.

I paid the driver more handsomely than I probably should have and had to stop myself from bounding up the drive and bursting through the door. With every step my heart beat harding in my chest, pounding a steady tattoo against my ribcage. I'd been away for so long...it was difficult to feel entirely comfortable coming back to something from which I'd been so far removed.

When I came to the door, I found it unlocked. I was a little put off by this, but I didn't really think anyone would try to come up here and harm Mia or my things. After all, there were stories accumulating around town about who lived there, and what would happen should anyone deign to trespass.

I inched my way inside, trying to decide which room to go into, first. Where would she be at this time of night? Should I simply call out to her? I was at a loss of what to do. What did I usually do when I came back? But then I'd never been gone for so long, before.

"M-mia?" I called out, but my voice broke, and I'm afraid the result wasn't very effective. I stood there with my bags still draped over my shoulder, my hand still on the doorknob. Nothing happened. I swallowed and tried again.

"Mia?" My voice was louder, this time, echoing in the high-cielinged entryway. The resonance surprised me, but within only a few moments, I heard footsteps running. My heart jumped into my throat and I tried to seem unexcited. But as soon as I saw her, I knew that wouldn't be possible.
Katukatu on September 15th, 2005 01:54 am (UTC)
I had to give up. The kitchen simply was not going to get any more spotless than it was. I supposed I could have scrubbed out the inside of the oven, but it was really too late for that, and after all, I felt I was rather too squeamish to attempt it. So I supposed I might as well finally go to bed. It was nearly eleven, after all. I sighed, and began to make my way to my bedroom.

Wait...what was that? I could have sworn I heard something...was someone at the door? My heart froze, and my eyes shifted from side to side, searching for a weapon of some sort, not that I knew how to use one...

"Mia?"

It couldn't be! Could it? No, it had to be! Before I was consciously aware of what I was doing, I was spurred into action, flying forward, skidding around the corner in my slippers, and eventually coming within sight of the door.

There he was, almost so regal-looking, even when burdened with travel-bags. The lights were out, but I could still see the dim glint of the moonlight off of his mask, as he caught sight of me.

"Erik!" I didn't bother to slow my pace as I continued toward him, and as soon as I got close enough to do so, I leapt. Seconds before his arms reached out to catch me, I heard his bags hit the floor, and then I was in his embrace, my arms wrapped thoroughly around his neck, kissing him. Oh, God, it had been so long!

He held me up as if I was nothing more than a child, than a cat, and kissed me back with every ounce of fervour he seemed to have.
heroes_etc on September 15th, 2005 04:09 am (UTC)
It's really crap, but there you go.
She ran at me, full speed, and were it not for my catlike reflexes, I'm sure she would have smashed right into me, sending both of us toppling over onto the floor in a tangle of limbs and bags. Fortunately enough, I was quick enough to be able to drop my bags and catch her. She was so light and soft in my arms. Before I could say anything, her pretty little mouth was glued to mine. It had never felt so good to be back, anywhere. I never felt like I belonged more. I felt tears of joy welling up in my eyes as we kissed. I felt like spinning her, so I did. She squealed girlishly and clung to me all the tighter. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this happy, and I knew for certain that I could never stay away so long, again.

"I missed you," I breathed into her neck, her sweet, smooth neck smelling of jasmine and vanilla. "I missed you so much."
Katukatu on September 15th, 2005 04:28 am (UTC)
Re: It's really crap, but there you go.
I was forced to redouble my grip on Erik's neck as he twirled me around once, and nuzzled his face into my neck.

"I missed you," he sighed, still holding me close, "I missed you so much."

It was all I could do to keep from crying, and I kissed Erik's hair tenderly before he began to lower me to the floor. I bent to pick up his bags, but a hand on my wrist stayed my action.

"Don't - they're too heavy for you. I'll get them," he said, lifting them easily up and over his shoulder, and pushing the door shut behind him. I all but skipped on ahead, making my way eagerly and joyfully to the bedroom. I'll admit, my thoughts were of a completely innocent nature, despite the connotations, and I thought of nothing more than laying beside him and kissing his mouth, and stroking his hair, and being close to him as I drifted off to sleep.
heroes_etc on September 19th, 2005 12:38 pm (UTC)
Re: It's really crap, but there you go.
It really was a touching sight to see her scampering off in the direction of my bedroom so eagerly, and certainly nothing I ever thought I'd see. I wasn't entirely sure of her intentions, but they appeared to be, as usual, relatively innocent. I didn't get my hopes up, and honestly, I wouldn't have minded simply cuddling (what a strange word to be found in my vocabulary), and eventually drifting off into a pleasant sleep.

By the time I'd entered the room, she was all ready sitting on my bed, the covers pulled down and ready for us. When I dropped my bags just inside the door, she rushed up and took my coat from my shoulders and hung in neatly on the coat hanger by the door. She smiled at me, her dark eyes sparkling in the dim light from the hall, and I felt so incredibly lucky. A happiness swelled up inside of me that really quite surprised me, and I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or cry or pluck her from the ground and give her another twirl or two.

In the end, I simply stood there, looking at her, what would have been considered a smile on my face. I couldn't believe she was mine, mine, Mia, and would be, forever, if we wanted. And, though I constantly feared that she would one day realise what she was doing with this monster, the look she gave me and the excitement with which she had greated me eased my mind.

"I love you," I all but exclaimed, taking her small soft face into my hands and kissing her sweet little mouth.
Katukatu on September 19th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC)
aww, beebee! you posted!
We kissed for a short time, effectively thwarting any intention I had of returning the sentiment, but Erik knew I loved him...there was no way he could have mistaken it. He moved tenderly from my mouth to kiss my cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids, the tip of my nose...

"I'll put your bags away in the morning," I said, through my soft laughter, "Let's go lie down...I'm sure you're tired."

"Yes, rather," Erik breathed, walking to the closet to get changed, and I dutifully turned away, "But you needn't worry about the bags, they're my things, after all."

"All right. I know how particular you are about your things."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"I know," I agreed, and soon felt Erik's hands against my shoulders, stroking them gently through my nightdress. I turned around and rested my head against his chest tenderly, reveling in his cool masculinity, his powerful aura of security. Eventually, we made our way to bed, pressing up against one another, as if trying to make up for the contact we lacked during Erik's trips. "Darling," I whispered, into the nape of his neck, petting his hair affectionately, "May I come with, next time? I hate when you leave..."
heroes_etc on September 20th, 2005 07:56 am (UTC)
Re: aww, beebee! you posted!
I loved the feeling of her warm hands on my comparitively frigid flesh, the way her little fingers gently traced and stroked. It was all so endearing, and all so wonderful I rarely even knew that what was happening was reality.

We walked as best we could without breaking contact, over to my bed and laid down.

"Darling," she whispered, and it brought a smile to my twisted lips to know that she was talking to me. Her breath was warm and sweet against my cold neck and it sent a pleasant shiver down my spine. She toyed with my thin hair a little, sending smaller shivers dancing down my backbone. If I had the ability, I was certain that I would be purring rather loudly, by then. "May I come with, next time? I hate when you leave..."

At first I wasn't sure how to answer. I wanted to say yes, of course I did, but half the reason I left was because she was such a distraction to me. I was less likely to get my work done quickly, or at all, if I had any other reason to exist. And of course I needed my music, my drafting was still a treasured hobby, and it was nice to simply sketch, now and then...but Mia was essential, above all. I never thought I'd say that about anyone, never though I'd put anyone before music. Perhaps she was on the same level, at least, just to err on the side of caution lest my muse become suddenly jealous and leave me. Music had been my constant for my entire life, ever since those little bells had been hung in my crib. If She left me, I would still have Mia...but there was no telling what would happen between us. Hopefully nothing, but my muse had never once failed me...but then, neither had Mia, thus far. I was far too paranoid.

"Er," I began, having brought myself back to the subject. "I would love for you to be with me..." and she couldn't possibly know how much I meant that, the agony I'd suffered in our time apart...unless, of course, she shared it. I didn't hope for her suffering, certainly not, but in a kind of way...

"We'll see, my love," I said, stroking her head and planting a small kiss on her brow.
Katukatu on September 20th, 2005 08:06 am (UTC)
Re: aww, beebee! you posted!
I could tell by the pause before Erik's answer that I should not be expecting to accompany him on his trips, any time soon. I didn't know his reasoning, and didn't feel that it was my place to ask - not a product of my training, merely a courtesy not to pry into his personal thoughts. I would miss him, of course...but it made being with him all the more wonderful.

I laid my face against his and shut my eyes dreamily. And to think, I'd grown up (insofar as I had, at least) thinking that I would live in service to the shah, and be lorded over by the khanum until I displeased one of them and was executed. Life with Erik, cooking for him and speaking to him and making love with him...it was by far the better bargain.

"You saved me," I whispered, somewhat enigmatically, and then laid a kiss on Erik's beautiful cheek, "Thank you."
heroes_etc on September 20th, 2005 08:18 am (UTC)
Re: aww, beebee! you posted!
I couldn't help but chuckle a little. I could hardly consider a life in such close proximity to me anything to be thankful for, but I was, after all, posessed of little to no self-esteem, and was much too hard on myself. I was getting better about believing her and accepting her compliments. Still, it sounded so odd, and seemed such a strange concept to me. She cooked and cleaned for me and was at my every beck and call, and even...serviced me in the most intimate of ways, yet the poor girl still considered herself to be lucky. Well, so did I.

"No, ma chere," I said, kissing her forehead again, "Thank you." She'd saved me from so much more than death. "Thank you for loving me."